I’m really looking forward to Tuesday’s Portrait workshop at the Hartnoll Hotel. Then on Wednesday more tutoring, and in the evening I am doing a live portrait demo for Tiverton Art Society. With the latter I have a feeling of nervous anticipation. I enjoy the intensity of being in the moment during demos. No nipping off for a quick coffee or making that phone call. It’s so compelling and immediate. Sometimes during demos I get a momentary blankness generated by self -consciousness. A decision about something I am painting is almost impossible to make. If this happens, I have faith and move on to other parts of the work. By the time I come back to the ‘problem’ it has either resolved itself in relation to others things I have painted or I can now clearly see what needs to be done. These occurrences balance with moments of inspiration, happy accidents and energetic brush strokes that are partly the result of the speed at which you have to work when demonstrating. It’s important for me to enjoy ALL the moments, the concerns, the thrills, the pressure, and of course the interaction with the people watching. It has to be fun, for everyone. I make an assumption that everyone watching wants me to do well, as if they are friends and family (which sometimes they are). I avoid trying to impress, as this fuels fear of failure. I cultivate the ‘just do it’ attitude, which has served me well in so many things, especially my art. Commit to something fully, and your mind naturally tends to ignore insecurities, and starts working on the solutions. When you’re working on the ‘how’ it’s easy to ignore the ‘but what if…?’ that leads us to doubt ourselves. Use your human capacity for faith, and believe that you will do well. Tell your mind often enough and it will eventually say. “oh all right then, it MUST be true.”

It’s going to be a great week.